I used to faint as a child.
All noise would fade away. I’d feel nauseous and weak. Then crash. I’d wake to the sound of someone calling my name and my family looking down at me, eyes full of fear.
I did everything to prevent this cycle from happening.
When I felt a fainting spell coming on, I’d blast music or exit a room as fast as possible. I’d pull my hair or pinch myself to force my brain to focus on something else.
As I got older, the fear came on harder and stronger (like emotions do when we brush them under the rug).
I worked on my fear. I read books. Listened to podcasts. Talked to my primary care doctor. Tried biofeedback. And finally, with the help of a coach, I moved through it. I learned to stay with it. Invite it in. Welcome it. See it as something that wouldn’t have power over me.
I realized that what my fear wanted was to be seen and heard and felt.
As I transform, as my business grows, as I see my clients move to the next level of their lives and businesses, I see unprocessed emotions showing up in the form of wobbly beliefs, wishy-washy commitments, and surfaced-level thinking.
They’re not as dramatic as thumping to the ground, but just as powerful–especially when we desire to create a life and business of meaning.
Scrolling on Facebook before you fall asleep.
Looking for an easier way to do it.
Not taking enough time to do the inner work.
Going for the second drink or dessert.
Keeping 10 tabs open to create unlimited distractions when things feel hard.
These ever so subtle actions are ea result of emotion (fear, anxiety, stress, doubt, unworthiness, inadequacy, anger or something else). When figure out what we’re avoiding, we get to STAY with it and move on powerfully (and successfully).
To learn how, click here and head to the full post.
Here’s How:
1️⃣ Notice when you’re not getting the results you want and what action you are taking instead.
I wanted to write an email or post to you with less effort and more ease.
I noticed that whenever I was on a roll with my writing that the minute I felt stuck, I’d check Facebook, respond to a text message, or click on another tab to finish another project. This pattern created unfinished emails and projects half-started.
2️⃣ Figure out what emotion preceded this action. After YEARS of doing this, I decided to investigate. I realized that I was quickly escaping (MY ACTION) out of my creative, productive energy (writing the email and staying on task) for two reasons. First, it felt hard. Second, it felt scary. Both emotions, not fully processed, led me to bold in the other direction. It’s the job of our brains to find the easiest and less fearful route for survival.
3️⃣ Decide to feel into the emotion. The next time I was writing a powerful email and was ready to hop on the distraction train, I stayed in the fear and pain. I noticed where it was in my body. I felt it in my chest. Breathed into it with full acceptance and allowed it to just be there.
And when I was done processing, I create a new thought:
I can stay and do this. And I kept moving forward. It worked!
When it feels hard to stay and your entire body wants to move, STAY.
When it feels harder to STAY than it does to MOVE, you will know that is the exact reason why you must.
💥 For your BIG dreams and visions.
💥 For the YOU who is ready to shine.
💥 For the world that needs your inspiration + impact.
You might think that STAYING will slow you down and derail you from your goals. You may believe that GOING is the key to productivity and success.
IT’S NOT. Staying will move you through. Staying will get you there faster. Staying wll create power and wisdom and love.
The moment you want to run or escape or distract yourself—STAY.
I spent half a lifetime running and all I ever needed to do was stay.
We’re in this together.
